Having what you desire: Becoming the Of Course
One day when my daughter was just under three, we landed in a conversation about Law of Attraction. It’s funny in retrospect to imagine I thought I was teaching her anything about a capacity so innate to a child. Kids don’t have that maddening back-flow resistance adults do of wanting something, quickly followed by thinking of all the reasons they can’t have it.
But my daughter graciously listened to me explain the idea of manifesting with all my clearly unnecessary words. My true aim was for her to acknowledge her power to create what she wants so that she wouldn’t lose track of that amazing ability as life unfolds. So I suggested we play a game, having the target in mind of her making a memorable connection.
I asked my daughter to think of one thing that she’d like to see that day, to actually lay her eyes on, it didn’t really matter what it was. We were in the middle of a country drive so I wasn’t surprised that she started by saying “a horse.” Reminding her that we already knew we’d pass some horses along the way, I suggested making it more challenging. She said, “A blue horse,” and then quickly modified it to, “No, a blue pegasus.” Alright, there we go. A real challenge.
Side note, if you haven’t ever played this game, I highly encourage it, especially if you make it silly. Somewhere in the back catalogs of my once-teenage brain is a movie scene in which someone finally sees “a blue lady walking a blue dog.” I don’t remember what movie that is, but apparently the idea stuck with me. (If you know the movie, please for the love of god message me!) This game is especially fun with kiddos; I love how it makes them stretch creatively and lets them witness their own power.
And so it was on that drive with my daughter that, within just a matter of minutes, the two of us saw a big ol’ truck with a clear unmissable logo on the door of - yep, you guessed it - a blue pegasus.
I just laughed with absolute delight and amusement. I said, “Oh my goodness that’s amazing! You’re amazing!! Did you see that?? How fun and funny!!” and so on. My daughter… was nonplussed. It’s not that she didn’t care, or wasn’t engaged. She wasn’t grumpy or distracted or anything like that. That kid was what I refer to as “being the of course.” She wasn’t amazed because she already knew it would happen.
It would be impossible to count the number of times I witnessed my child off-handedly mention something she wanted that immediately showed up. “I wish my doll had a new dress.” Ten minutes later, a random stranger happens to somehow have just made a new doll dress and gives it to her. “I’m hungry. Can we have popsicles?” In under five minutes, grandma shows up unexpectedly with popsicles. “I need a new teddy bear to go with my collection.” In less than a day, there he was. All of it as if by magic. And all of it received with the same “of course.”
A lot of people may wonder if this led to an attitude of being spoiled. Nope, it didn’t. My daughter wasn’t a kid who incessantly asked for things or threw fits when she didn’t get her way. But think about it, rather than constantly being told no, or that she can’t have everything she wants, or I’m not made of money, or quit being spoiled, or any of the other stuff people say to children, she was encouraged to practice her own pretty darn magical capacities to have things show up. And so they just did.
What if you lived in a state of course? For most adults, that feels like a fantasy. We get into heavy wishing and praying which actually only emphasizes the not having. Rather than “of course,” it’s “of course not,” coupled with a litany of problems, reasons, excuses, justifications and other fabrications for why we can’t have what we desire with ease. Most people reserve “of course” for problems: Of course this would happen today, of course I’m late, of course that costs more than I thought, of course it would be my problem to fix, and so on.
Allow me to remind you of one obvious little fact my friend: you were once a child. You once had the capacity to ask and receive with total ease. Somewhere along the line it got dampened and obstructed and replaced with some other far less efficient equation. To be fair, that likely happened quite early in your life. But, can you get it back? Of course.
Here’s a couple things I know about having what you would like to start showing up with the ease and simplicity of a child:
There’s value in the game.
I once drove cross country with a friend while coming up with all kinds of absurd things we wanted to see along the way - men in plaid shirts with orange hats, discarded mannequin parts, unexpected juxtapositions of chickens and clowns, whatever. Some things felt reachable and some just too bizarre to imagine even possible. We kept a list and celebrated every time we got to check something off. Somehow, some way, we eventually laid our eyes on each and every thing, even the odd ones, though they didn’t always show up how we imagined!
What’s potent about this game is that you begin to practice asking for and receiving things that you don’t have a charge about. There’s no pining away, no investment in the outcome. It’s just for fun and gives you the experience of what allowance feels like. Allowance is really the name of the game. It’s a valuable no-resistance muscle to build. The more you enjoy the fun of having things show up with ease, the more ease and allowance you will have.
Let blue car syndrome work for you.
Have you ever endeavored to keep a small child entertained in a car? (Apparently kids and travel is the theme for this blog.) My daughter used to like to count cars of a certain color or type. Once she set her mind on a type of vehicle in particular, we’d start to see them everywhere. Her dad called this blue car syndrome. I call it putting your attention on what you want.
Something important to keep in mind: blue car syndrome works in reverse too. If you don’t want to see blue cars, they’ll multiply like mad. Be selective with your attention, it’s powerful.
Becoming the future trumps wishing every time.
Whatever you desire, you want for a reason. There’s something you’ve decided that having it will do for you and with that there’s a feeling and energy you’re aiming for. Rather than trying to hash out the how and when and where and why, enjoy relaxing into what it will be like to have that desire actualized in your life. Imagine having it. Perceive the energy of the experience and what your life is like with it. Don’t focus on the details. Fixating on specifics can quickly regress into a wanting energy. The future is where you have it. Don’t feed the wanting. Become the having.
Telling sob stories is decaying possibilities.
In case you missed it, I’ll reiterate: putting your attention on not having is creating not having. I know it can be so seductive to argue for your problems, but that’s not a campaign you want to win. This is where you have to really look yourself in the mirror and ask some tough questions: Are my problems more important to me than my future? Is having someone commiserate with me actually giving me what I want? Am I choosing pitiful over powerful?
Still to this day, on the occasion my kiddo does not receive what she asks for, her disappointment is mild and short lived. Maybe she simply knows that life is ok without it. Or perhaps, innate within each of us before layers of life get piled on, is an inner-standing of the nature of our generous universe. Perhaps you know, though maybe you’ve never really looked at it, that things do really work out for you. Somehow, some way. You can ask, and you can receive just as Law of Attraction suggests. However, you should know that telling your stories of woe is a form of asking. Through being the energy of woe and putting your attention on problems, you’re asking for more of that energy. When you catch yourself doing that, pause and ask a question: What am I creating with this? What would you like to create instead?
Living life being the of course takes some practice. It’s no small task. That said, we can have what we desire and create our lives as grand as we choose them to be. While that’s a different journey for each of us, is there anything else more worthy of your time?
So play like a child. Let blue cars and dogs and horses work for you. How much fun can you have allowing yourself to become what you have always known you could be? Of course.